Kabiyesi is seated in the center of the mat-filled room, with pink strays at the edges. A white and blue beaded crown rests atop his head, with four strings on each side. He is dressed in a multicolored agbada, with red and white glass beads layered on his neck and wrists. He sits with his head held high, his face bearing a serious expression, a stance befitting a Kabiyesi.
Two guards stand beside him, wearing yellow shirts and blue shorts, their bare feet touching the mat. One stands to his left, with his hands interlocked behind his back, while the other stands slightly to his right, fanning him in a slow, rhythmic motion.
A blue and white adire with swirling patterns hangs on the left wall, while a pink one with a zigzag design is displayed on the right. Behind him is a white adire adorned with star patterns.
In the middle of the room, to his right sit Aderigigbe, Ogunleye, and Adediran. To his left sit Adeyemo and Alaba. As usual, Toba is late.
“Kí ló ma nṣe Toba nítorí Ọlọrun?". "Ṣé òun ní àṣẹ ẹ̀sùn? Ó dájú pé òun ní àṣẹ ẹ̀sùn!"
(What is always wrong with Toba, for goodness' sake? says Diran. Is he cursed? He must be cursed!)
"A kò mọ̀ oh. Kabiyesi, ẹ jọ̀ọ́, ẹ má bà á nínú. Ẹhnn, Alaba, ṣé o ti rí i lónìí?"
(We don’t know, oh, Adeyemo folds his arms aggressively. Kabiyesi, please don’t be angry. Ehnn, Alaba, have you seen him today?)
"Ṣé o yà wéré? Ṣé mo ń gbé pẹ̀lú rẹ tí ìwọ fi ń béèrè bẹ́ẹ̀? Ṣé o mọ̀ pé kí o ṣọ́ra, hmmm... Mo ti sọ ti èmi o!"
(I hope you’re not crazy? Do I live with him that you're asking me? screamed Alaba. You better be careful, hmm... I’ve said my own, oh!)
Kabiyesi is about to respond when Toba suddenly runs into the palace, his green fila too big for his head, sweating profusely.
"Kabiyesi, Kabiyesi, ẹ jọ̀ọ́, ẹ má bà á nínú! Ṣé ẹ kò ti bẹ̀rẹ̀ láì mí? Mo wà pẹ̀lú Iya Peju, ẹ mọ̀ bí àwọn obìnrin ṣe n ṣe, ẹni kọọkan máa padà lójú ọjọ́. Ṣùgbọ́n mo sare, mo sare.”
(Kabiyesi, Kabiyesi, don't be angry! I hope you haven't started without me. I was with Iya Peju, you know how it is when women are involved — one always loses track of time. But I ran, I ran.) Toba says, laughing impishly.
Kabiyesi is in no mood for nonsensical behavior, so he simply ignores him and gestures for them to start the meeting.
"Nítorí náà, kí ni ìṣòro tó ṣe é dájú pé a pe ìpàdé yìí?" (So what exactly is the problem that we’ve called this meeting?) Kabiyesi says, his left hand resting on his throne, looking tired and irritated.
Ogunleye removes his fila and bows slightly, facing Kabiyesi. "Ẹhnn, Kabiyesi, a wá nibi nitori pé ìṣòro kan wà pẹ̀lú iye ìyan tí a pin." (Ehnn, Kabiyesi, we are here because something is wrong with the number of tubers of yam that were distributed.)
“Ìkòkò ọkà?” (Tubers of yam?) Kabiyesi responds, a look of confusion on his face.
“Toba àti Alaba ni wọn ní ìbáṣepọ̀ pẹ̀lú oúnjẹ tó yẹ kí a pín fún àwọn àgbàlagbà. A ní gbogbo ohun, àmọ́…”
(Toba and Alaba were in charge of the food to be shared among the elders. We got everything, except…) Aderigigbe says.
"Gbogbo nkan, báwo? N kò rí epo pálmì o, ó ṣeé ṣe, wọ́n ṣe ìlérí fún mi kí n gba kẹ́gà méjì, ṣùgbọ́n mo gba kẹ́gà kan ṣoṣo."
(Everything, how? Adeyemo interjected. I didn’t get any palm oil, oh! Actually, I was promised two kegs, but I only got one.)
“Ṣé o lè jẹ́ kí n parí? Kí ló n ṣe ẹ, Adeyemo? Jẹ́ kí n sọ t'emi àkọ́kọ́, èmi ni ọwọ́ ọtún Kabiyesi."
(Can you let me finish? What is wrong with you, Adeyemo? Let me speak first, I am Kabiyesi's right-hand man.) Aderigigbe barks.
“Ẹ jẹ́ kí a gbọ́ ọ̀rọ̀, níbẹ̀ ni a ó ti rí ẹ, ọwọ́ ọtún Kabiyesi.”
(Let’s hear word, that’s where we’ll find you, Kabiyesi’s right-hand man.) Alaba says, mimicking Aderigigbe.
“Ahn, Ahn! Arabìnrin! má sọ̀rọ̀ bá a bẹ́ẹ̀, ṣe o ní ìbáṣepọ̀?"
(Ahn, Ahn! Diran says, standing up. He points his walking stick at Alaba. Woman! Don’t talk to him like that, don’t you have any respect?) he yells.
“Èyí ni ìṣòro rẹ."
(That’s your own problem.) Alaba says, rolling her eyes while adjusting the perfectly layered beads around her neck.
“Ṣé kò rẹ yín?”
(I hope you guys are well?) Kabiyesi says loudly, giving all of them a death stare.
"Ẹ jọ̀ọ́, Kabiyesi. Ẹ jọ̀ọ́, ẹ má bà á nínú...”
(Sorry, Kabiyesi. Sorry, don’t be angry...) they all say in unison.
Kabiyesi turns to Toba. “Oluruntoba, kí ló ṣẹlẹ̀ pẹ̀lú àwọn ìkòkò ọkà àti gbogbo oúnjẹ mìíràn? Kí ni ìṣòro tó máa ń wá nígbà tí ìwọ bá jẹ́ alákóso?”
(Oluruntoba, what happened with the yams and all the foodstuffs in general? Why is there always an issue when you are in charge?)
“Ó dà bíi pé…”
(I wonder, oh…) Alaba murmurs.
Kabiyesi immediately turns to Alaba, and she puts her palms together, mouthing “Ẹ má bínú” (Please dont be upset). “Nítorí náà, Toba, tẹ̀síwájú. A ń tẹ́tí sí rẹ. Ṣé o lè sọ fún wa?" (So, Toba, go on. We are listening. Can you let us know?) Kabiyesi continues.
“Kabiyesi, ẹhhnn, Alaba àti èmi ni a gba gbogbo oúnjẹ náà gẹ́gẹ́ bí ìtọ́sọ́nà rẹ. Ṣùgbọ́n, a dojú kọ àwọn ìṣòro kan.” Kókọ, a jí àwọn oúnjẹ kan lẹ́yìn alẹ́ kan."
(Kabiyesi, ehhnn, Alaba and I got all the foodstuffs like you instructed. However, we ran into some issues.Toba says, scratching his head. Firstly, some of the foodstuffs were stolen on one night.)
"A jí?”
(Stolen?!) Ogunleye yells.
"Ṣe o le jẹ ki ó sọro?”
(Can you allow him talk!!!) Aderigbigbe and Diran yell in unison.
Alaba laughs in the corner, Diran rubs his head, Adeyemo looks at Kabiyesi, mouthing “Ìṣòro wà.” (There are problems). “Sọ, ró!” (Talk, oh!) Ogunleye says, raising his hands in a gesture of defeat.
"Bẹ́ẹ̀ ni, mo jí ní òwúrọ̀, ìkan lára àwọn oúnjẹ náà ti parí, síbẹ̀, ìyan náà ń bajẹ, nítorí náà mo pinnu láti dá wọn jẹ…”
(Yes, I woke up and some of the foodstuffs were gone. Moreover, the yams were going bad, so I just decided to cook them…) Toba says.
Before he could even finish, Ogunleye jumps to his feet and yells, "Ìrò ti bà ayé rẹ jẹ, ẹ̀yin gbogbo, ó fi ìyan àti àwọn nkan míì tó ń jẹ́ pé wọn kò sí fún Iya Peju!" (You’re a bloody liar! Ehn, y’all, he gave the yams and the other so-called missing items to Iya Peju!)
Toba looks at him shocked "Kí ló? Bàwo ni o ṣe mọ̀ èyí? Sọ fún mi, ta ló sọ fún ọ?”
(What?? How do you know that? Tell me, who told you that??)
“Se ó kan ẹ?”
(How is that your business?) Ogunleye yells back.
Aderigigbe yells at them “Ṣé ẹ̀yin méjèèjì ni kò mọ́??” (Are both of you mad??)
Toba charges at Ogunleye, “Ṣé o n sùn pẹ̀lú rẹ, ẹ̀yìn agbalagba? Ṣé aya rẹ kò tó fún ọ? Eyyy, Ọlọ́run, Iya Peju ti parí mi!)
(Are you sleeping with her? You old fool! Is your wife not enough for you? Eyyy, God, Iya Peju has finished me!) he cried.
Adeyemo attempts to drag Toba off Ogunleye. Diran stands up to help, but in the process, he trips. Aderigigbe runs to help him. “Ah, Baba Ẹ jẹ́ fara balè”, kí e má bà á ti ẹsẹ́ tó ṣì ń ṣiṣẹ́!” (Ah, Baba, you better take it easy, before you lose the only leg that's still working!)
Amidst the chaos, Alaba finds the middle of Toba's head and lands him several knocks. She wails,"Iwọ ni ọkùnrin aṣiwèrè! Mo sùn pẹ̀lú rẹ ní ìlérí pé ìwọ yóò fún mi ní ìyan àti àwọn ohun èlò oúnjẹ mìíràn! Ọlọ́run yóò bá ọ jẹ!” (You’re a foolish man!' I slept with you with the promise that you would give me the yams and other food items! God will punish you!) She falls onto Diran, crying while adjusting her wrapper.
Diran screams at her, “Jọ yọ́ idi rẹ kúrò lórí ẹsẹ̀ mi, mi ò fẹ́ ìṣòro, obìnrin aṣiwèrè.”
(Please remove your bum bum from my leg, I dont want problems, foolish woman.)
Toba manages to get to his feet. He tries to leave the palace but Adeyemo drags him back and grabs his sokoto. "Níbo ni o ro pé o ń lọ? O gbọdọ̀ pèsè ìyan! Obìnrin ti bà ayé yín jẹ, ọkùnrin aṣiwèrè!” (Where do you think you're going? You must provide the yams! Women have finished your life, useless mad man!)
“Ẹ jọ̀ọ́ ẹ yá mi lẹ́nu, báwo ni gbogbo yín ṣe lè ń wọ́lu mi nípa ìyan tí kò ṣeé ṣe? Àwọn ọkùnrin ológo bí yín? Jọwọ, èmi náà ní ẹ̀tọ́ láti ní aya àti ìdùnnú.”
(Please leave me alone oh, how can all of you be harassing me because of ordinary yam? Noble men like you? Please, I too deserve a wife and enjoyment.) Toba cried.
At this point, they are all holding onto different parts of Toba, screaming and raining curses on him. Kabiyesi gets up and tries to separate them, but in the process, someone pushes him to the ground. Gbam! He hits the floor, and his crown rolls slowly to the other side of the room.
“ÀH ÀH Ẹ̀wò” (AH AH, ABOMINATION!) Aderigigbe screams.
They all fall silent, lying down and apologizing profusely, "Kabiyesi, ẹ jọ̀ọ́ darí ji wa, ẹ jọ̀ọ́ darí ji wa." (Kabiyesi, forgive us, forgive us.)
The guards lift Kabiyesi onto a stretcher and head toward his private room. He lies there in silence, his hands on his head, wondering what he did to deserve these old rascals as his trusted advisors.
Sage Roses ❁